I decided to try meditation as I’ve read it is beneficial to your physical, emotional and spiritual health. So, since I’m always tired (physical), wound tighter than a ball of rubber bands (emotional) and always searching for guidance and purpose (spiritual), I thought I’d hit the jackpot. I’ve considered meditation before, so I happened to have the book and CD “Getting in the Gap” by Dr. Wayne Dyer, who is an author and speaker in the field of self-development. I’ve read several books by Dr. Dyer, so I was familiar with his style and thought he might be the perfect person to help me reach that place of complete silence and total relaxation. I popped in the CD and began my meditation journey.
First, I was instructed to get in a comfortable position. After trying many (none of them comfortable), I finally settled on lying on my bed. I also felt lying down was safer, because I was confident that once I got started I would be in such a relaxed and tranquil state that I might fall backwards thus running the risk of hitting my head if I were in a seated position. I was off to a great start. Next, guided by Dr. Dyer, I was given meditation techniques and a mantra to use. I was supposed to clear my mind and concentrate on the techniques and repeat the mantra…ahhh…ahhh…ahhh. It certainly seemed easy enough…NOT.
Instead of my mind clearing, it began to fill with thoughts like, “is this working”, “shut-up, I have to clear my mind”, “I need to do laundry”, “I wonder what time it is”, “this position is not comfortable”, “I’m thirsty”, “my nose itches”, one after another they came and they just would not stop. Not only was my mind definitely not clear, but I felt my stress level rising and my mantra started to get on my last nerve, as did Dr. Dyer’s previously soothing voice, which by this time was just downright annoying. Finally, I just couldn’t take anymore and my first meditation session ended in failure. According to the clock, I’d been meditating for five minutes. FIVE FREAKIN’ MINUTES!! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!! It seriously felt more like five hours.
I was disappointed and seriously wondered (again with the thoughts) why something that was supposed to be relaxing turned out to be anything but. Maybe I’m just not open to meditation. Dr. Dyer says not to give up. He says it takes practice and eventually you can perfect the techniques and slip in and out of a meditative state with ease. I’m not so sure about that, but maybe I owe it to myself to give it another try.
On second thought, instead of meditation, I think I could achieve total relaxation and a clear mind with a long vacation to a warm and quiet tropical location, sipping frozen alcohol filled drinks, while soaking up some sun. My new mantra…another please…another please…another please…
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