The One Mama Rule I Didn’t Know I Needed

For stay-at-home moms, there are two camps—those who thrive and those who survive. Learn the one mama rule no one tells you. It will change your life.

Now, I’m all about being a mama, a wife, a cook, a cleaner, a scheduler, a chauffeur… you know the list.  I’m also a fan of exercise, of books, writing, and working. Like most women, I like the occasional manicure and pedicure too.

The thing is, as a stay at home mom, I found myself never making time for myself, my interests. I wanted to lose the last of my baby weight. I also wanted to start an online business and have time to do meditative coloring (yes, it’s a thing, and I love it.)

But at the end of the day, I was so emotionally, physically, and mentally drained I had nothing to give to myself. This continued day in and day out until I decided…

Enough Already!

I’m not a slave, and I deserve to have some personal fulfillment beyond my family. It’s not unreasonable in the least. You deserve these things too. 

So, I sat down and talked to my husband. Well, you know what actually happened, I had a meltdown and cried, lamenting my current state of exhaustion.

Luckily, I have an amazing husband, who immediately said, “let’s fix this.”

In that moment, I realized I had support. I just needed to create a new reality for myself.  So I set out to outline my daily routine and include my husband as more of a primary caregiver. He wanted to help; he just didn’t know where he fit in.  So, we fixed that.

Mama reborn

I not only freed up actual time on the clock for myself, but I also freed up mental space to focus my attention on other things.  I was a mama born again! My life went from static and stagnant to dynamic and wonderful. I had time to exercise, write, and I started making some money on the side. The important this though was that I was still available all day for my daughter and my husband. By having little things for myself, my attitude improved dramatically (and so did my marriage).  During this process, I stumbled upon the one mama rule I didn’t know I needed.  I’ve started calling it my Creator Rule.

Creator Rule

The comedy legend, Milton Berle, left us with a brilliant piece of wisdom in the form of a joke when he said,

If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.”    

As I contemplated my small successes creating a new and different reality for myself, I stumbled upon the Creator Rule, and it became a way of life for me.  I taught it to my husband, and he’s been able to create a whole new relationship to his job and his colleagues. Now I’m sharing it with you in the hopes that you have similar successes.

What is it?

When I explained it to my husband like this. You know how in the Bible, it says: 

And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. (Genesis 1:27  KJV)

My understanding of this passage is that God created us all in His image and likeness. For me, that image and likeness is less physical than spiritual. 

To me, I take this to me that we are all little creators. We can and do create things all of the time—from complex technology to war, peace, and prosperity.  If we can create things that are so life altering, doesn’t it stand to reason that we should also be able to create more free time in our lives, better relationships, and the money we want and need?  Yes. It does, and that’s what the Creator Rule is all about.

How does it work?

You are a little creator. Your current situation may feel crazy, chaotic, and complicated, but it doesn’t have to BE any of those things. You get say on how your life feels and how you feel in it. 

Let me give you a few examples.

Example #1: Healing a not-so-great Relationship

There’s a person in my life that drives me crazy and I can’t just avoid this person forever.  I feel judged, manipulated, and completely disrespected whenever I’m in this person’s company.

The Creator Rule says I created this experience for myself. I am responsible for how I allow this relationship to affect me.  The key here is that I allow it to affect me.

So with a lot of compassion for myself and a ton of patience, I stopped allowing the negative energy to impact my spirit.  I stopped letting myself get all wound up and uptight, but I didn’t stop caring. I just stopped allowing the negative to drip all over me, and boom!  I’m a happier person. This person in my life has not changed, but I have changed. As a result, my relationship with this person is different.  I can be in their company. I can talk with them, and my spirit remains calm and at peace.

Example #2: My health + Losing the Baby Weight 

After the birth of our daughter, I was one of those women who lost all of the pregnancy weight in the first two weeks. Don’t hate.  In the next three months, I’d gained more than 30 pounds postpartum. 

I didn’t make time to exercise or to do preventive health therapies —like massage and acupuncture—which is a big deal for me.  I just didn’t know how to make time to lose it.

Within two weeks, I’d lost 8 pounds. Find out more about how I did that here.

The point is, I took the steps I needed to take to make the time. I did everything from exercise to diet change.

I am creating a new body.

Example #3:  Income + Making Income at Home

I’ve wanted to start an on-line business for years—even before I got pregnant with our first little angel. I just didn’t do it. I didn’t take the time to figure it out.

The Mama Rule means that I can create anything I want. I just have to find the resources I need to make that happen.  In my case, I needed to learn HOW to build a business, and I needed to create some time to make that happen.

During my talk with husband, we worked out a schedule for both us to have some personal (me time) and some personal (work) time.  So, now I’m working. I’m blogging and freelance writing.  It’s perfect. I’m not making megabucks yet but if every mile starts with a step. So you’ve got to be in motion.

Will it work for you?

It can work for you. The Creator Rule is about you taking responsibility for your life.  There are stay at home moms who never have any time or money (for that matter) to live the life they dream of living, and there are stay-at-home moms making millions of dollars with all of the time they want to have. 

The only difference between you and financially successful stay-at-home moms is that they created what they needed when they needed it, whether it was more time, extra income, or time to start their meditative coloring book t.  They created it.

You can create stuff too.

You were also created in the likeness and image of God. So, you’re a little creator, and you are on this planet for a purpose. If you’re miserable buried under laundry, dishes, and meal planning, you’re not fully sharing that purpose with us or the people you love.

It’s time. Use the Creator Rule to have a different reality and to be a different person.  The potential is already there inside of you.  

If you’re a mama, you absolutely need to apply this rule for your own sanity and continued personal growth and development. Are you willing to test it out?  Leave a comment below with what you want to create.

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